October 26, 2012
No on Measure “Zero” supporters upset with Yes on “O” signs

YUCAIPA- Opposers of Measure Zero are in an uproar due to the increasing number of “Yes on O” signs appearing in Yucaipa. Measure Zero, unofficially referred to among residents as the “Saggy-pants Law”, is a local measure that would see Yucaipa-Calimesa residents fined for indecent exposure should they be caught in public with their underwear sticking out and their pants sitting below their waist line. Opponents are looking for residents to vote “No” on Measure Zero come November 6th, but worry that the “Yes on O” campaign signs may confuse voters.

“Don’t get me wrong,” says Ricky Trujillo, a spokesperson for “NO on Measure Zero”, “I think Measure O is great for our local schools and paying for the campus repairs is necessary, but their campaign materials are going to confuse voters and cause them to accidentally vote yes on Zero. Election officials really didn’t think this through.”

The “Yes on O” sign in question. Measure O would provide local schools money for the many repairs needed on school campuses


The Yucaipian tried to reach election officials for comment, but were unable to do so. Trujillo says “If I have to pull up my pants to avoid being fined after November 6th, then I’m afraid of how much control we are giving our government. It scares me, man.”

June 15, 2012
The Debate Continues: Wildwood trails still in dispute

YUCAIPA-  No resolution seems to be in sight for the dispute over Wildwood State Park’s many trails. The Yucaipa Trail-Blazers, a local mountain biking group, continue to argue with Yucaipa Riders Society, a horseback riding club. Randy Moffit, the leader of the Yucaipa Riders Society, appeared at a recent city council meeting, standing behind the podium with a passionate speech in hand.

“Those Blazers have been pushing their agenda onto us for too long,” Moffit pronounced, dressed in his full horseback riding garb. “This is not about who gets to ride on the trails anymore; it’s about trying to change the core values of the park. If they would just ride horses like everyone else we wouldn’t have this problem.”

TJ Ellis, president of the Trail-Blazers and also present at the meeting, retorted: “It’s our fundamental right to ride our bikes on the trail. It’s state property, and the state has made it clear that the trail is for use by all.” Ellis argued further, “The core values of the park aren’t in jeopardy of changing. Those bigoted, one-track mind horseback riders are trying to change who we are. We were born to be bikers. Haven’t we evolved as a society from simply horseback riding?”

At the end of the debate, significant changes could be made to Wildwood State Park

The debate continued long into the night, with Yucaipa citizens sitting in the audience chiming in with their own opinions.

“If we let these mountain bikers use the trails, what comes next? Unicyclists? Tandem bikers? We can’t indulge the insanity; trails are for horses and their owners,” spoke longtime Yucaipa resident Deena Chambers to a rousing applause.

Moffit closed his speech with one final and thought-provoking remark: “If the mountain bikers are allowed to have their way, it will greatly challenge the sanctity of the trail.”

May 31, 2012
Experimental burglar alarms to be tested in Uptown Yucaipa

  

 

YUCAIPA- The ZZZ Alarm Company will be installing a custom audio into selected uptown businesses.  

“Our goal is to deter break-ins as well as frighten away intruders if they do set the alarm off,” said ZZZ owner Frank Furillo. “With most burglar alarms sounding like car alarms, we have programmed the alarm to blare Turkey in the Straw. I’ve asked around and this repulsive little melody is enough to make anyone run with their hands over their ears.”

The song Turkey in the Straw is also known as Do your ears hang Low and is used by the local ice cream truck. Furillo reported that the melody can be heard over most of the town during most afternoons but never at night when break-ins occur.

“If the start of the song doesn’t get them running right away then the key change will,” Furillo stated. “It makes my ears bleed.”

The only concern is that if the alarm continues in a loop, local police may not be able to respond to the audible alarm.  During one testing, a responding officer pulled his service weapon and shot out the speaker.  

ZZZ Alarm will have the new alarms installed by the beginning of summer. Other local businesses may apply to the waiting list for installation.

 Duke Forsite- Contributor to The Yucaipian

    

 

 

           

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Filed under: Yucaipa the yucaipain 
May 19, 2012
A Roundabout History- Yucaipa Roundabouts

AN EDITORIAL BY MR. LEVI J. SANDERS, YUCAIPIAN CONTRIBUTOR

YUCAIPA, CA. In the summer of 2010, the city of Yucaipa was confronted with a predicament. Several million dollars of tax-payer money needed to be spent, and Yucaipa didn’t know what to do with it. In a July city council meeting, executive council member Robert “Bobby” Shinn brought up this problem to the public, and expressed that he was open to suggestions on how best to spend the money. Several ideas were expressed, such as repairing the pot holes on 3rd, and 4th street, improving the city trails, and even building a bowling alley.

While the city council was debating on what to do, a gentleman in the back of the room introduced himself as Jerold Hill, a spokesperson for the well-known Indiana company, “Roundabouts or Us”. Hill suggested that rather than spending money on repaving roads, or restoring trails that would just need to be redone again later, Yucaipa should invest its money on something different. Hill talked about the roundabouts his company had built in Redlands, Orange County, and other cities, and that every respectable city in Southern California had one. Hill then proposed that for Yucaipa to truly stand out as a glorious metropolitan area, it needed at least one roundabout. Hill’s proposal was meet with unanimous cheers from the counsel and public alike. Executive council member Shinn stood up and boldly declared that Yucaipa would “order not one, but two of (these) circuitous contrivances!”

Construction on the roundabouts began immediately, with Yucaipa Blvd being closed from 3th street to Bryant. When questioned, Hill assured the council that the project would be completed by November. When asked what they thought of the construction, public response was overwhelmingly in favor. Marian Cook, long time Yucaipa resident, expressed that she was “pleased that something is finally being done about (the) unsightly boulevard.” Marcellus Wolfington, who owned a Mexican restaurant on upper Yucaipa Blvd, said that “even though our business (has) slowed, I am confident that with the improvements, the increased traffic will more than make up for (the) lack of customers during construction”.

Roundabouts

A view of the California Street roundabout


During construction, Hill’s company was an impeccable model of complete efficiency.  Despite complications with obtaining permits, and contracting workers, the roundabouts were completed only a few months behind schedule in late April. The project ended up costing slightly more than estimated, but Yucaipa was able to divert the needed funds from other nonessential areas such as power line maintenance, and septic upkeep.

After the project was completed, The Yucaipian went back and asked the same individuals what they thought. Cook said she “simply loves driving down the remodeled boulevard. Without the stop lights getting in the way, I can keep the pedal to the floor of my Civic the whole way down! I only wish we could put in some more roundabouts (on) 4th and 5th street!” Wolfington could not be reached for comment.

The city of Yucaipa owes an enormous debt to Jerold Hill and his hard work. Unfortunately, Hill has not been seen around Yucaipa since late October. One of our sources informs us that someone resembling Hill was at Ontario airport in line for a flight to Hawaii. He was muttering something about, “those poor souls…” We can only assume that he was on his way to a funeral or something. On behalf of the entire city of Yucaipa, we wish him all the best!

May 18, 2012
Survey! survey shows citizen needs

YUCAIPA- Survey!, an affiliate of The Yucaipian, polled Yucaipa locals on a very hot button issue: what sort of business needs do Yucaipa citizens desire?


 

Survey! says: locals desire more choices


“It wasn’t hard to think of what we need in this town,” Yucaipa native Tanya Reding told our The Yucaipian reporter. When asked what her answer to the Survey! survey was, Reding replied with the top-ranking business in the results: “Easy— this town needs more pharmacies. I believe Yucaipa citizens simply want more variety. Rite-Aid, CVS, and Walgreens are great, and it pays to have choices. Isn’t America all about having choices?”

Yucaipa resident Bob Chafer had this to say about his choice of Mexican food restaurants: “I think the more restaurants we have the better,” he said. “It creates a lot more jobs and many more choices of places to eat. I like having somewhere else to go if I have a bad experience somewhere; it’s very important to me to give my business to a restaurant that deserves it. I pride myself by this.”

Among the businesses not ranking high enough to place on the chart were video stores and a third Del Taco.

May 14, 2012

Anonymous asked: How do I get a job in Yucaipa?

Yucaipa is home to one of the fastest growing local business sector within a five mile radius, and with the newly renovated Historic Uptown Yucaipa, the potential for even more new businesses to replace the old ones in Historic Uptown Yucaipa will come with even more job opportunities for local Yucaipians! All citizens agree that the new renovations in our Historic area was one of the best Yucaipian moves in order to encourage new local businesses. 

Additionally, it’s a well known trick of the trade that when it comes to job hunting, it’s not about what you know but who you know! Good impressions are a must. So go out, make friends, wink at the White Rabbit barista, and you may find yourself with a local job in no time. 

Happy job-hunting, yucaipian!

- Staff Reporter, Susan Wells 

May 10, 2012
Peaceful and Green Solution

A local environmental group is applauding the latest decision to close The Wildwood Canyon Trail in the City of Yucaipa.  Yucaipa Earthy Crunchy Tree Huggers (YECTH) is proud of their efforts that have not taken as along as expected.

“We were thinking there would be one of those long, drawn out fights, you know,” said founder Harry Pits.  “This whole issue has been so negative.  This is just a ray of sunshine for the villagers of Yucaipa.  We’re just very positive.”

The Wildwood Trail in question will now be allowed to grow back to its natural state.  No bicycles or horses will be allowed anymore.  YECTH has been a gentle, but firm voice in the struggle over the trail.

“Not only was nature being disturbed, but there were so much conflict over who had the right to be there,” Pits explained this morning.  “We didn’t have a problem with kids riding bikes and you know, and horses are there to shepherd us through nature.  The real problem was all those negative waves as people fought over the land that doesn’t really belong to us anyway. But it’s all good.  We have nothing against the using of clean transportation.  So we’re super excited about the next phase of the plan.”

The next phase of the plan will involve closing Yucaipa Boulevard from 5th street to 7th street.  This will become the new permanent trail for both bicycles and horses.  The road’s divider will serve as a marker indicating which side belongs to whom.  Motorists may take an alternate route.  But there are also plans to rent horses for traveling and a park and ride at each end.

“We’re so stoked at this, the embracing of nature and the establishing of peace between the bicyclists and equestrians,” Pits stated.  “Everyone wins here, especially nature and peace.”  

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Filed under: the yucaipain Yucaipa 
May 3, 2012
Movie Theatre may arrive sooner than expected

Yucaipa entrepreneur and resident, Marvin Self has announced his plans for a multi-screen movie theater in Yucaipa.  On the heels of other press releases from other companies announcing the same thing, Self is confident that his theaters will open first.

“I’m taking the approach that we’ve seen done elsewhere in the Inland Empire area as far as taking old buildings and putting them to a new use,” he explained.  “Places like The Packinghouse and other historic buildings with roots in the area’s past are being put to use in new ways.  It’s my goal to continue in this tradition.  I will be using a group of existing structures in the city of Yucaipa and putting them to new use.”

The reporter for The Yucaipian was given an exclusive tour of the desired facilities.  The day was warm and moist and breath masks would have been nice.

“I am also doing the City of Yucaipa an outstanding favor by solving yet another problem,” Marvin Self proclaimed.  “There has been constant strife and debate as to what to do about the egg ranches too close to residential areas.  The Broody Tott ranch has been receiving complaints ever since the subdivision above it opened up.  The smell and the flies are a constant annoyance to the good citizens there.”

Self would not answer questions as to his approximate place of residence in Yucaipa.  He assures The Yucaipain that the plans to buy out the Broody Tott Egg Ranch are in the works.

“If won’t take long to clean the place up once the poor birds are released back into the wild,” Self said. “I have assurance from several neighbors that they will give me a hand on weekends.  We’d like to have a barbeque each evening.  There’ll be chicken probably.”

When asked about the quality of movies being showed at Yucaipa’s first theaters, Self was at first evasive.  He finally conceded that at first they will not be showing first release films.

“I’m planning on showing double features on both screens,” he said. “In keeping with the theme of revitalizing the old, my films each be a classic film followed by its remake made decades later.  The first double feature will be Lord of the Flies. The first one released in 1963 and the remake from 1990.  The other screen will show the 1958 classic The Fly followed by its 1986 remake.”

Mister Self was unclear what films to show later on.  He is hopeful to acquire the animated family films: Chicken Run and Chicken Little.

No solid opening date is set for the opening of the movie theaters which Marvin Self has tentatively named The Broody Neighbor Theaters.


-Duke Forsite, Contributing Reporter the The Yucaipian

  

 

    

 

 

           

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Filed under: Yucaipa The Yucaipain 
May 1, 2012

Anonymous asked: Is there anything healthy to eat in Yucaipa?

Absolutely there is! My best recommendation is the Sizzler’s right next to the high school on the bottom of Yucaipa Blvd. This thriving and bustling business has been offering delicious steaks and a fresh salad bar to the citizens of Yucaipa for years and years. As a Yucaipian favorite for healthy eating in the food industry, you can trust it’ll be around for years to come!

Happy Yucaipaing,

Susan Wells, Staff Reporter

May 1, 2012
Theme song for Yucaipa Iris Festival announced

YUCAIPA- In preparation for this year’s annual Yucaipa Iris Festival, festival planners have, in an unprecedented first, decided on an official theme song for the weekend event. Don Schneider, spokesman for the Yucaipa Iris Festival announced the song Monday evening.

“The festival planners met, and it was an easy decision,” said an excited Schneider. “The obvious choice for the Yucaipa Iris Festival theme song is ‘Iris’ by the Goo Goo Dolls.” When asked what helped the planners arrive at their decision, Schneider responded: “The name of the song, really. It’s such a powerful and emotional song. The feelings emoted in the song are what we hope Yucaipa residents feel about their town.”

The Goo Goo Dolls will be playing a concert on Thursday, May 5th at San Manuel Casino. Their song was selected to represent the Yucaipa Iris Festival.


Other songs that were up for selection included “Never Surrender” by Corey Hart, and “Return to Innocence” by Enigma.

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